Steve Hall is My Name

It’s no surprise Microsoft gets crapped on by so many people for so many things. Here’s just one small example. In February, I was asked to write a post-Super Bowl article about advertising in the game for MSNBC and I was promised about $350 as payment. Honestly, I don’t remember the exact amount it’s been so long but it sounded like a good deal at the time. I’ve worked in advertising a long time. I’ve written about it for a long time. I like advertising. Why not get paid to do so? Perfect, right? Not so much.

The writing part was fine. The article was published. Of course, I was crucified for my usual handful of typos and incomplete sentences but isn’t that what editors are for? But, that’s another story. To get paid, I was told I’d have to become a Microsoft vendor and there’d be a few forms to fill out. Four months later, I’m still filling out forms and no check has arrived.

First, there was the maddeningly convoluted online form that went on and on and on asking questions completely unrelated to to the task I performed for MSNBC. After putting off this daunting task for a couple of weeks I dove in. An hour after beginning, I finished filling out the form but a week later, I get an email informing me something had gone wrong and I would have to go through the process again. Excuse me but no thank you.

Then, a very nice lady from MSNBC apologized and sent me some forms I could fill out offline and then return to her which I did. All good, right? That was two months ago. I’d all but forgotten the entire nightmare until today when I received an email which I almost tossed off as spam since the beginning of it was written in all caps, some in bright red, with the rest of the email containing all sorts of spammy phrases such as “Important,” “Attention” and “Invoice Notification.”

The email asked that I read through the TWO ADDITIONAL emails I would receive which would inform me how to, yes, log in to yet another Microsoft nightmare where I’d have to enter a “onetime” password - which would expire in 48 hours, no less - AND refer to “Mail 2″ which would provide me a link to print invoicing instructions AND refer to “MS Invoice Instructions” which were online…or was it in an attachment of Mail1???

It doesn’t end there. There was an attachment to the original email entitled “MS Invoice” with…wait for it…FOURTEEN PAGES of instruction which went on and on and on and fucking on about invoices and purchase orders and payment schedules and online access and account information and purchase orders

Fourteen page. I feel like iJustine complaining about her iPhone bill

Let’s do some math. One email + one online form that didn’t work + one offline form + one email with convoluted instruction + one additional email + a second additional email + another online form + password (which you have to log in to get) + a 14 page attachment = FAIL

I’m going to do Microsoft a favor. Clearly, they’ve expended much effort to support their vendor process and initiate payment. It took time, resources and, yes, money. Probably more than $350 when you add up all the steps and people involved. So, keep your money Microsoft. It’s already been spent.